Lika - I am 35 years old. I am an alcoholic...

I drank for 15 years. The last two years I have been in remission. I count them from the day I came to rehabilitation. I am an alcoholic, but I could also be a drug addict - in general, it is believed that an addict can get hooked on anything: from drugs to sports.

Start

My first experience with alcohol was when I was 13-14. I was shy, unsociable, but I dreamed of love and friendship. A teenage environment wherealcohol and cigarettes - a symbol of adulthood, quickly drew me in. Even then there were alarm bells: if I didn't have to go home early - I got drunker than anyone else.

Moving and free fall

At 18, I moved to Moscow. New acquaintances, hangouts, parties - everything was accompanied by alcohol. I wanted to be the center of attention, and with alcohol it seemed easier. Almost immediately, abuse began.

If alcohol had been invented 50 years ago, it would have been banned in every country in the world.

Serious problems

By 30 they started to collapsehealth , work, relationships. I couldn't fall asleep without alcohol. I often bought wine in the morning - to be sure. The amount of strong alcohol increased.

I was destroying minelife didn't even notice. Friends turned away. An alcoholic causes rejection, even if he looks "normal" on the outside. And that's right: no one is obliged to tolerate it.

First rescue attempts

I tried to quit on my own. I stopped for months, went to therapists. Took pills, prayed. And it all ended in a breakdown.

Signs of addiction

• The inability to stop and the desire to "catch up".
• A hangover as an excuse to drink again.
• Constant thoughts about alcohol.
• Strong reaction to advice to stop.
• It is impossible to imagine a holiday without alcohol.
• Choosing a company where they definitely drink.
• Lifestyle justification: "everyone lives like that."
• Constant mild depression.

Female alcoholism

Women start to fail faster. Their alcoholism is more often hidden, more stigmatized. Women are more likely to be abandoned. But if they recognize the problem and seek help, they have a good chance.

Why is it difficult to be treated?

• Denial: The addict's brain doesn't want to see the problem.
• The illusion that you can handle it yourself.

Rehabilitation

The decision to go came suddenly. In rehabilitation, you are isolated from your usual environment, triggers and temptations. At first, even calls to your family are prohibited.

What's happening

• Life in a team, conflicts, feedback.
• Individual therapy, diaries of feelings.
• Understanding that feelings need to be experienced, not suppressed.
• Discipline, daily routine, working on yourself.

Rehabilitation should not be comfortable.

Life after

After the exit - instructions on how to manage yourself. Plans, routine, dealing with consequences, forgiveness, gratitude for each day.

There are no guarantees. But there is a chance. And now I have it.